Moving Past my Mistakes

Mistakes are something every person makes every day. No matter how hard we try they are inevitable. It might be a small mistake or a big mistake, they all teach us lessons that are necessary for our growth. People often take mistakes as a bad thing, how everyone has to be perfect in everything they do, and if they aren’t they shouldn’t do it. When I was 3 my mom put me in dance, just so I had a hobby, something to do. My dance studio was very laid back, we just had recitals, no competition, no one is better than the other. I danced at that studio until Covid, I had many awards for best in show and perfect attendance. When Covid hit the studio shut down, in that moment, I was ready to just quit and not switch studios. Some of my friends convinced me to go with them to this new studio, I decided to be brave and do it.

My first year I was in the lower class for my age range. I was nervous because everyone else there had a lot more experience than I did. The next year they moved me up a class, I had moved up from my friends and I was all alone. I had made new friends. I was doing pretty good, picking up quickly and learning new things. I had stayed in that class for about 3 years. I grew a lot, I became a better dancer than I was before.

My sophomore year I started to get harder on myself and lost the belief that I could do it, I wasn’t good enough anymore. I picked up another class, so I was doing ballet, tap, jazz, and pointe. I picked up pointe very well for it being my first year but for some reason I started getting worse and worse in ballet and tap, my confidence was slipping. Eventually, I had a breaking point and left early one class and never went back. In that moment I was so releaved with my decision, I was free. Free from the pressure, free from the comparison, and free from the toxic atmosphere.

As time went on I began to lose myself, I had no passion, no hobby, I felt like I had nothing, a void. It felt like the biggest mistake I have ever made. But it helped me, it was a lesson I had to learn. I had to learn how to live my life without my passion, I had to learn how to find a new passion. Something else that made me happy, made my life full. It took me a while to realize this and learn that I don’t need this in my life. Yes, I still miss it every single day and I wish I could go back, and maybe one day I will, but for that moment in time it was the right decision to make, but for a while I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. 13 years down the drain. To this day I still think what a big mistake I made, I should have just stuck it out, but I know that’s not right.

“Evelina’s Pointe Shoes” by ejmc is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

“006: I crave ballet.” by bronx. is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.