Disappointment

Middle school was a weird period of time for me as a kid. I’ll admit that I was probably pretty wild. Up until 8th grade I was a pretty good student, I was afraid of getting into trouble. I was as much a rule follower as I could be around faculty or the school grounds itself. I had heard of a transcript during middle school and was essentially terrified of getting even a little bit in trouble and blemishing that record.

8th grade was a turning point for that nature. I wasn’t particularly fond of one of the teachers. We had slight disagreements throughout the year and I ended up dreading her class. I never acted out, but tension built. After one class I and 2 others were almost late, this teacher closed the door nearly in our faces as we were about to walk in. The teacher came back after a minute or two the teacher told us to get a pass. Our previous class wouldn’t give us a pass and we were forced to go to the office. We came back and the teacher came out to talk to us. Explained to us the issue and asked us why we were late. Everyone else stayed quiet, but I felt differently. Something rose in me and I didn’t want to stay silent. I told the teacher how I felt the situation was unfair to us, and the teacher actually made the situation ensue by closing the door in our faces. That this would never occur if the teacher had let us in, and we wouldn’t have been late. To no surprise, she did not appreciate that comment. Resisting her words, she let the rest of the kids in, and I stayed out. “This isn’t like you, what was that about?” She asked in anger. I didn’t respond, I had already said what I needed to say.

“This isn’t like you, what was that about?”

8th Grade Anonymous Teacher (paragraph 2 line 11)

Calling my mother to let her know I had detention wasn’t as bad as I had thought. She was confused, but I wasn’t scared or nervous, I suppose I was numb. The detention itself was productive. One of my favorite teachers had detention duty and she was in a great mood. I and one other student used our time wisely, getting caught up on work that we had to do. I was behind, so naturally, getting caught up and slightly ahead was helpful. What was meant to be a punishment actually had me feeling relieved. I said how I was feeling to the teacher, and I used the detention time to be productive and talk with my favorite teacher.

There were many too many positives that day. It would actually be one of the most influential days of my school career and probably my life. Unfortunately, I had to walk home because both my parents were at work and I usually take the bus. I was only like 3 4 miles from my house, but the walk took almost 2 hours. I walked slowly as I finally reflected on my actions. Even still, I stood my ground, I had no regrets. I got home and played one of my favorite games. I thought I was off the hook! When my parents got home, things changed. I tried to play off the detention as if they didn’t know, and I didn’t call my mom to tell her. Dad sat me down to have a talk. He told me that how I acted out was irrational, and stupid for getting detention for saying something about a situation so trivial. Something that didn’t matter was my first detention. We weren’t going to get a detention for being late like I thought, the only reason I got one was that I acted out and gave the teacher attitude. My parents always taught me to be respectful. When in school follow directions and rules even if you don’t agree with them. You’re there to do schoolwork and learn. My dad doesn’t yell, he usually stays calm or at least restrained for the most part. His yell is loud. As a kid, his yell was very intimidating. It caught me off guard and shocked me when he yelled. That sat with me for a while. It wasn’t the yelling during the talk, it was knowing how disappointed he was in me. Every young son wants to make their father proud, knowing my dad was disappointed in my actions made me mad and upset with myself. Then was the moment I finally regretted everything I did.

From then on I stayed away from trouble as much as I could. I was quiet in class for many days. I kept my head down and did my work. I should have never made such a remark, it screwed up so much. I’ve learned to keep comments that serve no purpose to myself. Control my impulse and emotions. If I had accepted the initial mistake of being tardy, and said nothing, I would have been just in trouble for the time being and without detention. Assess the situation, think about your options, and make the correct decision. Don’t act on your emotions or out of impulse. Think before you act. 

“Thinking” by Miroslav Vajdić is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

“classic video games” by Patrick Q is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.

“GOP-report-card-web7” by Speaker Nancy Pelosi is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

“Sad Clown.” by 00alexx is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.