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The Holy Sneeze Batman!

What has ever made you say Holy S. Crap. Is it when a person cuts you off in the hallway, how about on the road? What about a jump scare? would that make you scream out at the top of your lungs “Holy S. Crap”. Or are you just sitting in front of me in class. Everyone in the senior class, or has had a class with me knows that I sneeze loud, and some people know where I am, or if i am near them by one thing, my sneeze.

Some people have asked me. “Can you quiet that down?” My reply is. “I can’t control the sound of my sneeze, so I am sorry if I scared you but, oh well.” The person that asked then gets their feathers all ruffled, and leave in a big huff. One of the good things about having a very loud and powerful sneeze is that, I can scare the crap out of people. I have never laughed so hard when the person in front of me is sleeping in class and I sneeze, and all hell breaks loose.

But one of the bad things about having a loud sneeze is that you can’t be a ninja. Like when your trying to be all stealth, and then you sneeze. Your teacher then notices you trying to stealthy sneak into their class. But I have never had that problem. But I digress.

One of the other questions that I get, well not really a question more of a demand is, “I know you can control the sound of your sneezing. I have heard you do it before.” I can only say. “That is a lucky occasion, I have no control over how I sneeze, or when I sneeze.” Sometimes, if I am lucky, I sneeze quietly, and people are surprised, and don’t think that came from me.

People have told me that I should hold in my sneeze. Every time that I have tried, it has turned out to cause me more pain then if I had just sneezed in the first place. They also say that if you hold your nose while you sneeze your eyeballs will pop out of your head. There are so many myths and legends about sneezing and none of them are true.

Featured image: “Sneezing” By Placbo @ Flickr

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9 Comments

  • broy14
    April 28, 2014 at 1:33 pm 

    There was very few errors with grammar, but other then that it was interesting to read. You definitely do know when your in the room, your sneeze makes it loud and clear.

  • npomerleau14
    May 7, 2014 at 1:56 pm 

    This piece helps to capture the anger that stems from your sneezes and reminded me of the times you have sneezed in french class and it is quite loud and startling. It seems that you are fairly knowledgeable about the art of sneezing and the laws of it.

  • jkupfer14
    May 8, 2014 at 7:58 am 

    Well when you sneeze like I do, you kind of have to know a lot about sneezing. This piece is a way for me to help say some of the things, and just to vent.

  • tlagasse14
    May 8, 2014 at 10:28 am 

    Your piece was nice, but didn’t flow very well without the proper punctuation. But I can see what you’re getting at, if people pointed out something I can’t help, I’d be pretty miffed about it as well. Great piece nonetheless.

  • aburgess14
    May 8, 2014 at 11:11 am 

    You’re right. If you could control how loud your sneeze is or when you sneeze, then you wouldn’t do it at all. Or you would be able to keep your sneeze calm. Other than the errors, it was good.

  • bayres14
    May 8, 2014 at 10:29 pm 

    I don’t have a powerful sneeze, but I can relate to not being able to control certain things. I’m a control freak and everything has to be perfect, so when people point out the things that I know I can’t control I get pretty irritated too, and like Amanda said, if I could control those things people are commenting on, I would be controlling them.

  • dpalange14
    May 11, 2014 at 10:49 pm 

    I usually stop my sneezes by just blowing out my noise when I get the feeling I am about to but your sneeze did scare the crap out of everyone in our geometry class. The flow of the piece seemed to be all over the place and the ending was random but overall it was an alright piece.

  • Aritcheson14
    May 12, 2014 at 9:34 am 

    This piece makes me laugh. I have totally been a victim of being scared by your loud sneeze. I have to say though, I have heard you sneeze quietly… once. LOL. I can see how people complaining can get annoying after awhile, but I agree that it can be funny sometimes.

  • sestabrook14
    May 27, 2014 at 11:08 am 

    This piece caught my eye because I have witnessed you sneeze multiple times. At times your sneezed have jumped me and other times made me laugh. Sneezing is something you can not control, even though sometimes we wish we could! Other than the errors here and there, good job this piece, it was interesting to read.

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