TheUtmostTrouble TheUtmostTrouble

Embarrassing myself in front of my biggest heroes

Picture this, It’s a hot, stuffy, humid summer day. The people around you are sweaty and gross but no one seems to care, including yourself. The giant venue you’re currently at is full to the brim of people of all ages. Kids, teenagers, adults, even some elders. The day is absolutely perfect, filled with jamming out to rock music, some of the biggest names in rock music are performing for your enjoyment while you eat delicious food, hang out with your friends, create new ones and everyone gets the chance to meet their favorite bands. It sounds like a paradise for any EMO teenager, and I know that I myself am one of those many teenagers in paradise. This exact setting was where I was currently spending my day and it’s called Warped Tour.
I just spent four hours in the front row of the Journey’s Right Foot Stage. I don’t know half of the bands that perform, I’d never even seen their names until today. My favorite band, Waterparks had just performed and I knew I probably looked horrendous, I FEEL horrendous after watching and jumping to so many different bands. I want to leave the audience, my throat hurts and I need water but my second favorite band, Set It Off is playing right after. I stick around for the show, it’s a major thing I want to cross off my bucket list. I scream louder and jump even more, if I thought my throat hurt before it was nothing compared to this.
“Mansfield you’ve been amazing! We’re holding a meet and greet right now so come down to our tent and say hi!”
Cody points towards the merchandise tent practically right next to the stage and I follow his finger, my eyes growing wide as I realize what this means. Despite the fact that I need water though I ignore it. I’ve made up my mind, I’m going to the meet and greet. It doesn’t seem that difficult, it’s pretty straightforward, just wait in line at their merchandise tent and then the chance to meet them is mine.
I turn to face my best friend Arianna, I’ve come to this music festival because of her. “Are you going to go to the meet and greet?”
She shakes her head ‘no’ but smiles at me. “No, I want to go and see Motionless In White’s set.”
I figured she would, she’s always loved them. I like them as well, but I like Set It Off even more, and I can’t pass up possibly my only chance to meet the four boys.
“You can go if you want though.”
She seemed to read my mind, or maybe it was my hesitant movements, the frantic turning of my head as I saw the line for their meet and greet getting bigger. I knew Warped Tour’s rules about lines, if it got too long they’d cut people off. I nodded at her and pushed my way back through the audience, attempting to get to the tent. I stopped behind an older woman, who looks around her 30’s. I can barely contain my excitement as I watch the four boys walk under their tent, bright smiles on their faces as they see the size of the line.
Meeting them seems pretty simple, but with my luck, it’s the complete opposite. After standing for four hours my legs and feet hurt and I can feel them screaming at me, telling me to sit down but I refuse, I’m not going to lose the chance to meet four of my biggest inspirations because my feet hurt. The line seems to be moving too slow, and I can feel my heart pounding (beating so hard I feel as if it’ll burst right out of my chest and I become self-conscious, thinking to myself, ‘Will they be able to hear it?’). My nerves are kicking in, I’m so flustered it’s hard to walk. The lady in front of me is very sweet and turns around to face me, complimenting my Waterparks shirt and I hold up a conversation with her, discussing the band in an attempt to keep myself calm though the closer I get to them the faster and faster it beats.
I’m left alone when the girl reaches the front and practically runs to them, hugging them all tightly and keeping conversation easily. I feel a bit jealous and envious, how could she be so calm when she’s standing in front of such amazing people?
Her time ends, it’s my turn. My heart is beating so fast I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. Zach smiles and gestures his hand for me to come over.
“Come on over, we don’t bite!”
He’s joking, but it’s not helping. I’m still extremely nervous, and I start making my way over to them per Zach’s request. I’m not really paying attention to what’s around me as I’m only focusing on them.
There’s a box on the ground in front of me full of shirts (as usual it is still a merchandise tent). I feel my foot collide with the edge of the box and I feel my heart drop. I just tripped, I’m falling, I’m going to embarrass myself in front of them. I hit the ground, it hurts as it’s tar and I frantically get off the ground, my face burning as I’m sure it’s a tomato red. I’m completely mortified, I can hear other people in line laughing at me, now all I can think about is if their laughing at me in their minds.
I slowly approach them, still beet red and they’re all smiling brightly.
“Are you alright?”
Dan is smiling, but all I can think about is if he’s laughing on the inside. The other three are watching, they add in on the conversation, being as sweet as they possibly can.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Things like this happen all the time.”
“We’re used to it!”
“We’ve seen it all!”
I laugh of course, it does make me feel a bit better knowing that I’m not the only one who’s embarrassed myself in front of them. They’re all standing in a line with Dan at the very end closest to me. I approach him first, beyond excited and I go to hug him, but at the same time he goes for a handshake. It’s normal, I suppose, so I switch to a handshake but he switches to a hug, I feel even more embarrassed. I outstretch my arms as his are still out and give him a hug, he’s very nice and even laughs about the situation but I still can’t help but feel completely and utterly mortified, why am I making such small, tiny mistakes?
After Dan I get to my favorite member, Cody and I feel my words catch in my throat. This man has inspired me for years, I want to cry tears of joy.
“I-I just-” I’m stuttering and stammering, I’m trying to convey to him what I’m currently feeling, but all sense of words seem to fail me. I want to tell him how much he’s helped and inspired me with the relatable lyrics he writes and how I want to be a singer just like him.
I stutter and stammer a bit more, I can tell that he’s trying to understand, he holds a confused look on his face. At this point I just want to crawl in a hole and never come back out.
“I love you,” was all I could manage to get out, it was supposed to be the end of my whole speech to him. It comes out without any context and I’m even MORE embarrassed. I feel so awkward, I didn’t want to just flat out say that to him.
He smiles though (he’s probably heard it from many girls before) and hugs me. “Awwwww I love you too.”
I know that he’s just being nice, I heard him say it to many fans (including the girl in front of me) but I still feel so flustered. I hug him back of course before he let’s go and signs my bag and I move on. My tiny little mistakes aren’t helping and I want to hide. I normally don’t make these kinds of mistakes but in their presence everything becomes difficult.
I move on again. I struggle to speak with all four of them, I’m in awe and I end up stuttering and stammering. With all of my stuttering they ask me ‘Huh’ multiple times so I have to speak again and I feel bad as I keep making the same mistakes and they can’t understand me.
“It’s nice to meet you Zach.”
I freeze for a second, my eyes wide as I realize my own mistake. I had just called Maxx, Zach. How did I mix up their names?! I’m a mess but they both laugh it off.
Maxx turns to Zach, who’s standing next to him and waves. “Hey Maxx how’s your day going?”
“It’s going great Zach thanks for asking!” Zach joins along and I can’t help but laugh along.
They’re both extremely sweet people and I can’t quite tell if they’re just being goofy or trying to make me calm down as I’m sure it looks like I’m about to cry, I certainly feel that way.
After I’m done with Maxx and Zach, I leave their tent as I’ve gotten my bag signed, it doesn’t seem like a big deal but I feel completely mortified. I just embarrassed myself multiple times in front of four of my biggest heroes. I try to forget about the experience. It’s only six at night and the last band I want to see doesn’t play until eight so I try to walk around and watch more bands. Sure enough I forget all about my horrendous experience. I meet back up with Arianna and now that it’s over I tell her and laugh about it. In a whole I’ve been better sense. Thanks to that first experience with Set It Off I was able to interact with others better. One other band I enjoyed, As It Is was there as well, and they were also doing a meet and greet (right after the last band I wanted to see played) I waited and got to meet them. I remembered my previous experience with Set It Off but tried to get it stuck in my head that in reality they’re just normal people, they’re not some kind of godly being that deserves worshiping. Seeing them as normal people and not turning them into major celebrities helped me stay calm and made talking to them easier, and they themselves seemed to enjoy being treated just like regular human beings. It’s all taught me that, no matter how much they mean to you, celebrities shouldn’t be treated above us, they should be treated just like everyone else, it provides a nice feeling for both parties.

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1 Comment

  • ahilliard19
    February 11, 2019 at 9:11 am 

    Cakers, what an amazing story. Many need to learn this, although I wouldn’t have the guts to do what you did. If that had happened to me I would have turn on my heel and marched out and found a tree to sob behind. You continue to prove to be the punk rocker, guts of steel girl of the group!

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