TheUtmostTrouble TheUtmostTrouble

Thanks I guess?

Have you ever let someone live with you, that you were close to or had a personal relationship with? Well I have, my junior year; I was dating this guy, Leo he was a freshman in college. He got kicked out of his house so as a wonderful girlfriend I was I offered my house for him to live at. He lived at my house for about three or four months. Well do not ever do it. I swear every other night we were fighting about little things, anything that seemed un-right in the relationship. Do not get me wrong, I was head over heals for him and we were a good couple but he wanted something that I couldn’t give him.

He wanted a future, he needed one. When he was a kid he had to grow up fast because of all the stuff he was put through. He had to take care of his little sibling and he even got separated from them for a little bit and he was devastated. Leo knew everything he wanted, he knew he wanted to have kids; pretty much had a calendar for when it would happen. The thing is after we were fighting and arguing everyday I noticed that it wasn’t for me. That I couldn’t handle something like that right then. He made me realize that even know I loved him that I wasn’t ready for what he was ready for. You can think you are ready for something but you do not actually know you are ready until you are doing it or something like it.

One night when we were fighting he broke up with me. Leo said he did not mean it but why would you say something and not mean it. After he did that I went to bed crying myself to sleep because I was heartbroken. The worst part was that he was sleeping next to me, with me in my bed. It sucked, but I learned and he helped me to realize that I couldn’t have gone through that and I should have realized before I let him move in that I was not ready for it. Leo and I still were close after that night though. He lived with me for a month or so after we broke up too. We did not act like we were broken up because we were still fighting, but it lifted a little bit.

He asked me back out when he thought we were in a better spot. I said no, because I knew I was not ready for it to go back the way it was. We could have been in a great spot and not fighting as much as we were but I just knew I could not be with him at that time. I told him I need time I needed to find myself before I get back into a relationship with him or someone else. I just needed him to understand that what we had wasn’t gone but I realized that I was gone because of the stuff we went through together.

Photo by fractured-fairytales on Foter.com / CC BY

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