Uncomfortable Situations

When I was younger, my parents really threw me and my sister into music. It started off with simply listening to music, then progressed to piano lessons. We started piano lessons at a really young age, and continued until I complained about them. I hated sitting in front of a piano for hours and hours. None of my friends had to take piano lessons, so why did I? I felt like a nerd. I felt like I did not fit in. So, I pestered my parents until they agreed I did not have to take them. And when I say my parents, I really mean my mom and my stepdad. My stepdad is my dad. He has been more of a father to me than my own biological dad. He has given so much to both me and my sister, that calling him my stepdad would almost be an insult. So, my parents cancelled piano lessons. I was finally happy. 

Although piano lessons came to a halt, my parents still encouraged me to practice music. I was not playing the piano as often, but I loved to sing. My dad has an amazing voice, so he taught me an abundance of things. He taught me how to harmonize, critiqued my pitch, and even showed me what songs would be best for my voice. I began singing all the time. In public, I would quietly sing to myself. In the car, I would belch out whatever song was on the radio. I even joined the worship team at church. This is where my singing “career” really took off. I was soon asked to sing the national anthem at a local 5k. This was huge. There would be at least one hundred people at this race. And out of all the people they could choose, they chose me to sing. I was honored. I really hadn’t thought of my singing voice that special though. I felt as if it was just like anyone else’s. Sure, my parents really hyped it up, but they were my parents. They had to say that type of stuff. Nonetheless, I agreed to do it. 

At the time, I was still visiting my biological dad, Will. My mom’s and his relationship was very business like. They were forced to be somewhat pleasant when together, but once they seperated, the trash talk started. This made it hard on me because I felt like I had to choose a side. Most of the time, my mom’s logic seemed more accurate, so I sided with her, rightly so. Around a week before my big performance, my mom and I had to visit my dad to pick something up. It had been a while since I saw my dad.  As we entered his house, the atmosphere turned very tense. The air felt heavy and I was itching to get out of there. In between the trivial small talk, my mom mentioned my big news. He was very surprised when he found out the news, for he had never heard me sing before. Then, taking me off guard, he asked if I could sing the national anthem for him. What did he say? Was he for real? Sing the national anthem for him right here, right now? He had never asked to hear me sing for him before, so why start now? But, I decided I had to. Maybe it would speed up this whole process. So, I sang the national anthem. I focused on my mom the whole time. She kept me anchored to reality. I felt like home when I looked at her. When I finished, she had a huge smile on her face. She looked so proud of me. Then, I turned my attention to Will. I was shocked when I looked at him. He had actual tears running down his face. What in God’s creation was happening. Was this man, who I only saw occasionally, really crying? Legit crying? Yes, in fact, he was. I had brought a grown human being to tears with my voice. I certainly was not expecting that result. Dying to get out of the awkward situation, we left. I let out a huge sigh of relief. 

Looking back at this experience now, I laugh. Will made a fool out of himself that day. What kind of father has never heard their own daughter sing, and when they do, they cry? When I think of the event now, I picture myself as Ariel from the Little Mermaid singing dramatically on the rock. The picture is a huge event with water splashing around me, looking absolutely fabulous. In all honesty though, it just shows his complete lack of interest and commitment to me. On the other hand, it makes me laugh because those kinds of reactions only happen in movies. There I was, bringing someone to tears with my voice. What an accomplishment that is! Now, I think about that day often. I would have never thought that I could do such a thing. 

Photo by jeri leandera on Foter.com / CC BY