Top 10 Most Valuable/Traumatic High School Events

Good afternoon, I stand before you today because da teach has asked me to write a speech. 

I’ve decided to write a speech focused on the top 10 most valuable or well traumatic things I’ve learned/ experienced in high school. I know everyone has had a very different high school experience, I’m just hoping this will reach the right audience. 

Starting with 

10) If you’re going to be late, at least be late with Dunkin because no matter the consequence, a good coffee goes a long way. 

9) When going to the bathroom, you will be taking the risk of getting walked in on whether it’s by a fellow classmate, teacher, or even the assistant principal. 

8) If you’re ever feeling depressed and need to pick me up, get a Miss. Maggie. Everyone needs a Miss. Maggie in their life.

7) If you get placed in D lunch, brace yourself as there will be no food left for you except for that cold, fake, cheesy pizza.

6) When joining the track team, make sure you know the rules of the event you are in, or come meet day you’ll think you’re only racewalking one lap but find out moments before your first meet that it’s actually a full mile.

5) If you ever want to be successful in Mr. Young’s class, make sure to add paragraphs and for the love of God, make sure you know how to use capitalization. 

4) Be nice. It’s really not that hard to be a decent person. 

3) Do not waste your time dating someone from this school… spread your wings and meet new people (@ Lisbon).

2) Whoever said procrastinating won’t get you anywhere’s was wrong because here we all are.

And finally, standing at 

1) DO NOT… and I will say it again, DO NOT EVER, under no circumstance, talk to a senior when you’re a Freshman. You’d be setting yourself up to be manipulated and gaslighted by an 18-year-old. 

On a real, there is one more piece of advice I want to share with you before we all go our separate ways. Money will come and go. Time won’t. Time is much more valuable than money will ever be. I spent most of my Junior and Senior years working. From going to school for seven hours only to having to go straight to work for another eight, I wasted a lot of time. A lot of valuable time. If I could do anything over again, it would be to tell myself that it’s okay to take a day off. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. What you do owe is yourself the time and rest your body deserves. I share this with you because I know a lot of miserable adults that spend their life working. Their job will be the death of them. Do you really want to be 70 years old reminiscing about the life you didn’t have because you spent it working? Because I sure as hell don’t. Live your life. Make memories. Pop off.  And if you’re ever bored, HMU!

“Gold top 10 winner” by sam_churchill is licensed under CC BY 2.0.