The Pursuit Of Knowledge Is Not Stupid

Have you had a question, or wanted to know something that seemingly everyone else already knew the answer too? Or something no one knew,  so you seemed crazy for asking.  This is an almost universal experience for those with minds that love to question things, and wonder. I believe that in our world, we know next to nothing, maybe even what we do know; is wrong. Everything is from our own perspective, so can we truly fact check ourselves.

In our everyday lives, how many questions do you think you ask yourself? As I type this, I’m asking myself that too. Though, there isn’t really an answer, because what can you consider a question? Does every little pause where you have to take a moment to think count as questioning? There’s a lot of nuance to the idea of asking a question, that ultimately, I think everything is a question if you can’t say it for certain. Sometimes even when we’re pretty sure we know something, but aren’t certain of it, we add an “I think” or “probably” at the end of it; just in case of the chance that you could be wrong.  But what is it about questions that make them feel stupid to ask? Is it the question itself? Is it the act of asking it? Or, the answer you want from it? It could be any of them. I’m sure you’d assume its the answer right? But it’s actually none of them. The reason is that it makes them feel stupid. When you know you’re smart, what is the one thing you don’t want to be seen as? it’s dumb, the idea that you’re smart becomes a cornerstone of your identity. It is one of the most defining parts of a human, their intelligence. Though I am no different, I’m not excluded from this rule, and I constantly feel stupid for asking questions that should be simple. And it’s been a core part of me since I was young. So much so that I hate asking things at all.

Growing up, I was “gifted” not that it really means much more than that you can memorize things better than others. But I was gifted in all but my speech, I had a lisp, so it was hard to understand me. For someone so young to constantly be told to go somewhere else to ask, or that they didn’t know, or gave me answers to something I didn’t ask, or outright told me to just stop talking. It roots the feeling of anxiety and stupidity. One of the most notable memories I have of this type of thing was when I was eleven. I kept hearing the word “grammar” being used, and people were laughing, and kept joking using the word, but I didn’t get it. So I laughed, pretending I did. Likely no one cared, but for eleven year old me, I just wanted to be included in whatever the joke was. I just subconsciously felt that it was obvious. It was a few hours later, when I asked my step brother what it meant, and all he did was laugh. So I ended up just going and laying in my bed.  It wasn’t until I was given a phone and able to look it up, that I found out what it meant. Though this is one of the most notable ones, it’s not exactly the worst one of my memories.

So the idea that asking something is stupid, comes from a place of doubt, it isn’t, the question, or the answer even. It’s the idea of you being perceived as dumb. And it’s easier said than done, but if you can break that shackle of anxiety, I believe one’s own pursuit and love of knowledge will grow exponentially.

“232/365 Broken Lightbulb.” by Chris Spiegl is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.