Three Seconds to Reset

Mistakes are bound to happen. No one is perfect. No one knows all the answers. Let’s take a second to think about sports. We could talk about every sport. We could talk about a certain player and nitpick their whole game. There are rights and wrongs. What could have been done better, and where they can improve. High school sports, to be more specific. Where people are still learning and focusing on getting better to perform well in games. Let’s talk more about myself, though. I’m a high school senior on the Girls Varsity Basketball Team.

During my first few seasons, like freshman and sophomore years, I made lots of mistakes, and I played off aggression and anger, so I allowed my feelings to overcome me and play. At the beginning of my Junior year, I became really close friends with 3 freshmen on my team. They were my rocks; they helped me in ways no one could understand. I’m not a talker about my emotions. I prefer hiding them and figuring it out on my own. Basketball was my way to express them, and I was not liked by opposing teams on the court. Someone who was like me would start talking or being sneaky and cheap-shotting me, and I would retaliate. I fought back. I used to be known for fouling out of games because I would let my feelings for a player override my ability to play properly. My teammates saw me always beating myself up after games, but in reality, I didn’t care. I thought it was okay. My norm was breaking myself thinking about all the mistakes I’d allow myself to make. I was thinking about my in-game mistakes, ways I could have shot better to improve my form, my defensive methods, and help my endurance so I could run longer and not be so tired. That’s what I want to pick apart. I believe I deserved to be a self-critic about the way I played. Till afterthey third game of my Junior season, everything I thought got put into a whole new perspective.

I played against Maranacook. It was a bad game, but my coach had me play against a certain girl. He said, “Go on 23, she will give you a hard mental challenge.” I never understood why he put me against a girl who plays dirty and talks a lot when you know I will do it right back. So the game was going badly, and we were getting smoked in just the first half. My whole team was getting fustrated. I was having words shot back and forth with me and 23. Sneaky hands, pushing and shoving, elbows getting swung, it was a game for sure. After half, I feel my game was just going downhill; my performance was still bad. I’m not making a lot of shots. They’re making more points. The coach was getting upset with the whole team. It was just a bad game. We lost.

Now, after the game I went back to who I would say my best friend’s house. And let me tell you about her mom. She’s the most realistic woman I know. I love her mom. She’s amazing. She has always been there for me when she knows something’s up. She gives the best speeches and talks known to man. Well, back to the point, we were in the kitchen cooking dinner, and shes talking to me and said, ” Kenz, I need to talk to you. Do you know what I saw from you today in the game? I notice why the coach takes you out. I don’t like what I saw out of you.” My heart was sinking. I didn’t know what she was going to say,y but she’s a basketball coach for the youth, so she knows ball. I tried my hardest to hold my emotions inside because I refuse to cry in front of people. She kept going. Now I’m not perfect on exactly what she said this was a year ago now. But I remember, ” You retaliate. Basketball is more of a mental game. If you can’t keep your head up and play through the intimidation others show you, then you get thrown off your game, and other players use that to take you out. Coach wants you to test you to see how you respond in certain interactions with other players. You need to stay positive and not let your guard down. You can experience bad performance in games, but by keeping your emotions and not getting back at others, it will help you. Refs might not catch what they do, but they will see it if they watch it a second time, so don’t be the girl who tries to get back at others.” Well, that was just something she said. But this changed my whole perspective. Realized I’ve been playing in games for all the wrong reasons. Yes, I loved the sport, but I got off my game when one person made me upset or mad, then I let those emotions linger and never go away. That was my mistake.

The biggest mistake I learned and am still learning is not how well I play. Stats shouldn’t matter. The biggest lesson this whole thing I experienced was to keep my head up. Play for me. Not my emptions. Try not to let people on the court dictate my game. No more retailing if I get upset, take a second. Try not to let how I do in that play dominate how I am mentally. I started this new thing this summer that my friends taught me. I give myself three seconds. Once I make a bad shot, a turnover, a foul, anything, I give myself three seconds, then it’s on to the next play. I need to take responsibility for my actions. I don’t like being the player people don’t like because I’m rude or I’m trashy, or I play dirty. I don’t want to be the player coaches say Hey, she quickly angered, then she gets thrown off her game. No, I want to be known more than that. I want to have sportsmanship. I want to be a leader. I want to inspire others. I have a goal for myself. I don’t want to keep letting my performance have a mental impact on me. Every game, there are struggles, and I’ve learned that, but you can give 100% on each day, and it might not look the same. But I want to be better and not play off emotions, but play my senior year on the note that I love basketball and I love my team. I want to enjoy every second I have left and not let a bad performance make me retaliate against another.

“Basketball” by mvongrue is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.

“Thinking…” by colemama is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.