People Want What They Don’t Have

I had a taste of siblings. I would call it a trial run. My best friend and her little sweet, but angry brother lived with me for a few months. It was bad sometimes, I won’t sugarcoat it.  It was hard when we all three shared a room for a couple weeks, before getting a new room ready for the brother, Logan. My best friend, Alauna and I still had school, so we would put Logan to bed at 6:30 p.m., and then by the time we had to go to bed, we would have to tip toe around the room and not talk, or else we would wake him up. And like I mentioned before, he was cute, but when he was in a bad mood, the 4-year-old beast would unleash. 

During the months he lived with me, I realized what people with siblings have been talking about their entire life. I had always wanted less attention on me from my parents, and now that I had that wish, it was upsetting. I felt like I was overlooked. Classic “Only Child Syndrome” coming out, I know. But that was a feeling I never had felt before, especially from my mom and dad. 

Logan moved away after a couple months, Alauna stayed. My responsibilities lessened, but then a new issue arose. Her and I put all our energy for the past two months into Logan, that we never had time to really hangout like we used to. So when he left, we started to be with each other all the time. And THAT was maybe just as bad sometimes. We would fight, argue, ignore each other. At one point, she got so mad at me, she slept in the bathroom. No joke. I was shocked. And I realized at that point, we are officially sisters, (who aren’t obviously sister’s). But I understand now what non-only child kids were all talking about. I used to say to people with sister’s, “that they are built in best friends”, and how “I want that so bad”. I understand now when they replied “…not really.” 

During this odd time period I just wanted it to go back the old way, when we got along and when we weren’t complaining about each other to my parents. When I got my bed alone, my closet free of other people’s sweatshirts, and jackets. 

Alauna’s dad was in North Carolina, and in June she took a trip down to see him. She brought half my clothes with her, thinking she would be back in a week to return them to me. But she didn’t come back. 

I don’t want anything more than that “odd time” back. I miss the fighting over who showers first, or whether to watch Jersey Shore (my choice), or Markiplier (her choice). It felt like the biggest issue in my life was that at the time. Yet I am so envious of her. Her, who is me, just grown up, with longer, lighter hair. Who tries more at school, has a job, and is applying for college. Who is just missing her best friend and and (fake) sister.

Being an only child sucks! I still sometimes think like this. I know that’s a controversial opinion…from the people who are not an only child, but it is how I have felt since forever, even more now because I have lived a life with siblings for a little. 

Though there are pros of being an only child. 

• – I never have to share time with my parents
• -We can go on more vacations
• -Have bigger portions of dinners
• -Learning how to deal with being alone
• – Being more creative, since I had to play Barbies by myself more often than not growing up
• -More Christmas presents! 

I like to complain, but at the end of the day I would say that being an only child has just as many cons and pros as having siblings. They are pretty equal. But people, including me, never want to understand and realize that. Just like people with curly hair wanting straight hair and people with straight hair want curly hair. But I guarantee that if either one of them got their wish, they would want their original hair back.

I had a taste of siblings. I had exposure to not being the only kid at the beach with my family, to having someone to hangout with all the time, to having someone to rant to no matter what. And I had a taste of taking care of someone else besides me, fighting over the remote, eating out more rather than home cooked meals. I miss it all. I miss the bad, the good and the funny parts, but I have accepted that I am an only child. I am lucky to have had a taste, a glimpse, of having siblings, even though it can’t be a forever. 

Featured Image: “We’re all sisters” by Jenn Durfey is licensed under CC BY 2.0.